...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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