my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
