You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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