I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
