Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
