You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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