No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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