Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize