Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm both gender and math confused
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
