Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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