I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my shit smells like andre
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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