so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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