So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
