My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Green mimosas i think yes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have post one night stand depression
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
