I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That accounts for only three of the penises
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
