they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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