i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
