If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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