i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
