Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
