Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
