Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
