Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize