Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
