i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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