i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
