Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
