I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
