Can i not drive my cunt home
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
