wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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