The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
