i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize