i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
