You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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