You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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