last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
