i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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