I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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