apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and she was petting her beer can
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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