dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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