If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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