there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
