New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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