She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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