i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
