you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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