Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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