Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
