how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
