This girl is more easily done than said...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
