and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
