do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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