I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
