who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
