she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
