just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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