its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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