seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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