Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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