Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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